whole, connected and free

I am feeling very spiritually alive. Perhaps it is because of all the carrot and beet juice I've been drinking. Either way I feel whole, connected and free.

I'm learning so much it feels like my headspace is stretched open with all these new pathways of information; in my minds eye it looks like webs of all things that make sense and fit together. All through my life I was a bit educationally withdrawn and learning things in school didn't always come easy because I was often so uninterested and hated being forced to learn things that did not apply to me. In absolute contrast I am now absorbing so fluidly the concepts and information that I am eager to understand and so strongly interested in and passionate about. Everything makes sense.

Though so much in life never makes sense... there are many uncomfortably baffling things on my mind these days but now is not the time to discuss.

Yesterday in class we meditated and observed our energy fields and I am very excited to learn different techniques pertaining to energy work. Oh, the Universe! How I love the powerful force that it is!

Pique

Oh, life.
What is it?
Yesterday the wind piqued my curiosity
and today the rain is heavy and the sounds wash through me
while I sit beside my window.
The fallen droplets are crystal clear and they represent
sustenance
cleanse
release
grow
life.

Here is a mind-blowing quote of inspiration:

You have more raw brain power and creative
ability than you have ever used in your lifetime.
Your brain has over 100 billion cells,
each of which is connected to as many as 20 thousand other cells
by a complex network of ganglia and dendrites.
This means that the possible combinations and
permutations of cells in your brain is greater than
the number of molecules in the known universe.
Your ability to develop ideas, learn new information,
grasp simple and complex theories
is infinite and
unlimited.

Fall, Energy & Magical Lettuce

favourite peasant skirt & boots


I LOVE FALL!


It is the ULTIMATE season of flow and peace and it is delicate and calm and elegant. I went to the farmers market the other day and I got a big head of un-poisoned romaine lettuce and I ate that thing. I ate it. It had a lady bug in a leaf and some other fuzzy green bugs that I let outside and although I felt moderately disgusted and apprehensive while I ate it, I deeply appreciated the life it embodied. Then I did some very liberating yoga. Seriously my body must have been a bound ball of elastic because when I stretched in all ways it was like releasing a dove into the sky. That is how beautiful it felt. Oh and then I danced like I was in a theatrical performance. And then I went for a walk under the sun in the chilly air and at work I was a ball of energy. I felt like I was on drugs.

I give credit to the lettuce. And the sunshine and the cool air and the season of fall because I love it so. The trees and colours still have much more to offer before all is white dust.

I am currently fascinated by intestines. That is what I am presently learning about.

A New Chapter!

The page has been turned to a new chapter in my life. I am going to attempt to coherently and accurately express how I feel about this new chapter to the best of my ability, though there is a great deal involved and it is all so spectacular and overwhelming at the same time.

This week was the start of my formal studies in Holistic Nutrition - a path I chose to take that comes deep from within and is the product of a lot of introspection and heart-following.

I am in the midst of adjusting to an entirely new routine. And I mean, a 180 degree turn. For nearly two years I was out of school and my daily life was comprised of plenty of free time which allowed for a great deal of growth, solitude and beautifulness. However now my days are essentially very full and I am discovering the importance of managing my time properly to ensure I have adequate space to complete all of my new found responsibilities. 

The best part about this new busyness is that it is absolutely thrilling. I am learning such an enormous amount and it is everything I want to know about! I am simply a sponge. I am fully present and enthused and SO ready for this chapter! It has been such a lengthy wait, I really cannot explain all the details involved in just this post, but simply put... the time has finally come.

The night before my first day of classes I was reading through my course notes notebook and nearly cried at how surreal the information was at the start of the notes. Long story short, the first epiphany I had when I abruptly began awakening spiritually to an enormous range of things two years ago was simplicity and the very important concept of living simply, frugally, fully. The first thing that was discussed in my notes was exactly that. Immediately I realized this wave of paralleled happenings - how it has come back to me, two years later, full circle, in a whole new format yet the same information thus truly deepening and expanding this journey and path I am on. And with other information as well, this new chapter in my life has reintroduced me to those exact realizations and exact feelings I had a long time ago. It's like the beginning of my inner journey is almost identical to the beginning of this new journey...! So, it is hard for me to properly explain how surreal this unexpectedly became just due to the nature of how everything is so seemingly interrelated. But at the same time, it is hardly a surprise.

When you follow your callings you will inevitably land amongst such surreality and synchronicity and all other sorts of splendid circumstances that you have attracted into your life.

So, as I said before, I am currently just trying to focus on finding a new kind of balance in this new chapter, new journey. The fall is my favourite season and I have been yearning for some walks in the cool, windy air amongst the trees. I have also, almost desperately, been needing more meditation in my life and that I intend to nurture.

Just blowing in the breeze of life ~ ~ ~

Sifting, Sorting, Nurturing & a Desk

I spent yesterday painting this desk. I have been searching for one for the past few months for school. I had this vision in my mind of a simple wooden four-legged desk with a drawer, and that's what I was set on.

But, yesterday I was browsing through a thrift store and came across this desk. I figured the drawers would definitely be useful. It was originally wooden and carved into with pencils from little children. It was $7.00. I took it home. And tried to lug it out of my car by myself but was seriously mistaken when I was left holding it stuck halfway out. A man drove by me, reversed, asked if I needed help, and then saved my life. And then I, jolly as can be, painted it a rusty red.

Since last night I have been rearranging, simplifying, tidying, sifting and sorting through my bedroom (and mySELF). Things are beginning to feel clearer and calmer and more peaceful and steadier.

I had a fairly large list of things that I needed to get done this week and I accomplished them all! I bought some of my books for school, all of which I am eagerly excited about reading. I was reading through a couple of them last night and had to put them down because I'll end up reading the whole thing before school even starts. I think that's a sure sign that what you're studying is of interest...!
I was feeling terribly overwhelmed the past couple of weeks. Just disorderly and imbalanced, because of all the things I had to do and prepare for, such as my final G-class drivers license road test that I was really not wanting to do but I passed it ;-).

I have also been nurturing myself with lots of greens and veggies:



Soup: 3 tomatoes, 1/2 cucumber, few leaves of kale, handful of baby spinach, few stalks celery and carrots and a clove of garlic thrown into a blender then added to a cooked pot of 1/2 cup red lentils/1 cup water. Stirred just to warm up, not to a boil! Some himalayan salt, dash of pepper and a swirl of olive oil on top ~
I seem to post lots of soup recipes, but it's just that they are SO easy and delicious and quick and my blender is pretty much my best friend.

Crisp Air & Twirling Forward

The sky this evening

The glow from the pink sky illuminates everything it touches and it's brilliant every time I stand below it, within it, become it. I am elated at the thought of autumn and the crisp air these days feels so good. I can even smell the season changing, I can sense it in all ways and I can feel change happening within me! Although I'm currently in a puzzle because I can't seem to grasp each fleeting, perpetuating moment as they float further into the future. In six days I will begin devouring my studies in holistic nutrition; academia in which I have been only dreaming about thus far. Dreaming and reaching and anticipating and it has been such a lengthy, lingering wait that my whole life for the past twenty months seems that of a blur. The growth, blooming and transforming I have done in that time has been wholesome and jubilant for me and I am oh but curious to find out how my life will unfold when I have a whole new kind of routine in place.

Although I have expanded spiritually and discovered many things I have also found myself with too much time on my hands for too long now; it has drained me on the days where I am not feeling so inspired but it has changed me on the days when I do. So, I will no longer be plagued with boredom at work or otherwise, a situation and environment for me that has lasted too long, for my primary focus and purpose will be that of passion, excitement, eager learning and an array of tangible kinships. 

And yet it all seems unreal to me right now. Because, you see, life feels like a dream for me these days. I can't decipher whether or not it is due to the fact that so much has manifested for me or because I have been dreadfully overwhelmed with mental to-do lists or because I need to eat more kale. Either way, I'm sure when I begin settling into my "new lifestyle" of finally pursuing passions I'll be able to feel more grounded. Who knows, you know? I sure don't.

All I know is that September is here and it means a lot more than just school -- it means my darling boots and fun scarves and rusty fallen leaves and cool breezes and fresher air and the harmony between feeling chilly and comfortable. It means birthing out of some sort of encapsulated Universe I have lived in for a long time, however amazing or changing it has been, it is still nonetheless time for some tactile moving and twirling forward...

a mundane blog post about books

Cardinal on the fence in my backyard

These days I have been feeling very drawn to books. I decided a few weeks ago that I really want to start reading a lot more to open my mind and expand my vocabulary. I was talking to a fellow I work with whom I am always able to carry out diverse conversations with during our breaks, usually on the topics of history, anthropology and philosophy. I always like hearing his thoughts on religion. Kindred spirits are hard to come by, currently in my tangible life, though I always seem to be able to attract some sort of spiritual nut into my life when I am otherwise amidst those of the conservative type. He is a peculiar, exceedingly polite History-turned-Anthropology major who usually arrives at work with a book in hand and is always enthusiastic about discussing his current read. I knew he was just the one to ask about where I should begin in terms of reading. His words of wisdom were to just start with anything. One of his recommendations was Anthem by Ayn Rand. His synopsis of it  intrigued me and I will be sure to check it out.

Though I recently finished reading A Walk to Remember I can't say I found it exceptionally enjoyable though I always liked the movie version. The writing style was a bit loose and adolescent but I am on to another novel which is actually a non-fictional memoir based on betrayal and renewal and I am enjoying this one very much so.

I believe my favourite component of reading is the transcendence through imagination and literally slipping away into another world for a while.

California Trekking ~

~Burney Falls

Happy September! Goodness, this month will deliver me many divine things, oh I can just feel it... September reminds me of the colour maroon.

I just returned home the other night from practically lucid dreaming through Northern California. The trip for me had much meaning... not only because being amongst mountains was one of my biggest dreams, but the foundation of the adventure I went on was based on stepping into the unknown. Exploring myself, my independence, desires, dreams and leaping far off the edge into unknowingness. I became something new because of it, of that I'm sure, however I don't know what though I do know how. Personal growth and mind-expansion, horizon-stretching, life-living, holding hands with fear and a whole lot of laughing along the way. So, to you, (you know who you are) I don't think I can really adequately express my gratitude for enabling such an experience to take place in both of our lives.

And so the spontaneous, rather impromptu journey began with an incredible drive up to the mountains of Mount Shasta; hiking, camping, driving and more driving along through all sorts of breathtaking scenery, forest, lakes and waterfalls, twirling roads up to the Pacific ocean and more road-tripping down the coast to San Francisco. Here I am now, landed back in my homespace like a bump on a log wishing I was back at the beginning of it all. The trip really reinforced in me just how badly I desire to travel.